Dawn Of Justice: Oh My.

Too long. Too slow. Too grim. Too much.

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After my (mostly) positive experience with “Man Of Steel” I thought surely “Dawn of Justice” had to be better than I had heard.

I was wrong. I was very wrong. That was mistake one.

I chose to watch the extended version (or the “Ultimate” version). That was mistake two.

This version was three hours. That’s easily an hour and maybe an hour and a half longer than this movie should have been. That’s not actually fair. This movie should never have happened.

That’s harsh but there were just so many times during the movie when a supposedly intelligent character did something very stupid.

 

Spoilers Ahead

Here are a few off the top of my head:

Lois sees someone we know is a very bad person. We know that because we recognize him. She apparently does too because she walks up to him and says “Don’t I know you?” He turns to her and she’s terrified.  Why? Did she think he was someone else? This makes no freaking sense at all.

Superman must get Batman’s help to save his mother. Now let’s think about this; If you or I (or any sane person) needed someone’s help we’d go to them and lead with that. Not Superman.  He goes to Batman and says some stupid crap that’s beside the point.  Batman starts to fight.  He does this because he’s been 100% geared towards killing Superman from frame one of the movie. At no point does he seem to question his own conclusion that Superman, being powerful, must be destroyed. So they flail around for 20 minutes or so and Batman gets the upper hand. Just before he skewers Superman with a Kryptonite lance, Superman says “Save Martha”. And of course Batman gets all confused. We know this because we are now shown Bruce Wayne’s tragic childhood trauma again.  All of it, because we just might have forgotten just what drove Mr. Wayne to be The Dark Knight in the preceding two hours.

Superman’s earthly dad keeps telling him he was sent here for a reason. But then he also tells him don’t do anything that will reveal what you can do. Make up your mind Mr. Kent.

Luthor engineers a brilliant plan to destroy Superman. Of course, if the giant Kryptonian “Doomday” monster had killed Superman, (and we all know that Superman isn’t really down for the count.) what then? There’s no indication that Luthor had any plan for dealing with this god killer. This movie goes to great pains to be as realistic as a superhero movie can be about people’s motivations. Superman is wracked with conflict. Batman is obsessed with killing Superman. Why does Lex do what he does? He’s murdered countless people just to set Superman up as the bad guy. But there’s no contingency plan if that plan fails. So you’re telling me that someone who can successfully set up Superman, kidnap Lois, kidnap Martha, manipulate Batman into stealing and weaponizing Kryptonite, and create a Kryptonian god-killer can’t come up with some kind of plan b? This is just too dumb for words.

And there’s just so many more annoyances. I got really tired of the choir coming in over the already overblown score to remind me that something important was happening. I got really tired of apparently important scenes being dramatized by slow motion. Once, sure. Twice, no problem. But not ten times. Please.

The best thing about this movie is Wonder Woman. And yet even her involvement isn’t without it’s annoyances. We see scene after scene of her seeing information about what’s happening between Superman and Batman. And she does nothing other than look concerned. It basically take the crap hitting the fan and every news channel basically saying “There’s a god monster about to destroy the world.  Superman and Batman may not be able to stop it. Oh if there were only some other superhero around!” to get her involved.

The operative word for this movie is dumb. My wife can tell you that I have a bad habit of screaming at the television when the characters or story make no sense. I spent a lot of time screaming at this movie.

 

 

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